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About Varied / Hobbyist Irespect MyprivacyMale/United States Recent Activity
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Literature
Lapis rap
Round and round
My ex got fucking AIDS
She made me hate the ocean
And wanna set the world ablaze
Got trapped in a mirror for
thousands o days
And being held in prison really
Doesn't pay
But earth's not bad
once you get to know it
I got new friends
And a brand new girlfriend
Loving every minute of this earth barn livin cause it's livid and I'm loving every minute
:iconAgentCrazy2:AgentCrazy2
:iconagentcrazy2:AgentCrazy2 0 0
Mature content
This is why I have no friends :iconagentcrazy2:AgentCrazy2 0 0
Literature
Pearl explains how to be thirsty
Hello! I am Pearl, and today I will be explaining how to be thirsty! First, you consume large amounts of salt. Make sure not to consume to much, because you might damage yourself in the process!...... What?... Shut up Amythest!
Anyway, the process should be quick that way, but if you don't feel comfortable consuming raw salt, you could just eat salty foods! Then you would be as thirsty as you would by the raw salt!..... What did you say about me and Rose?.... What?! I'm not... GET BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT-
:iconAgentCrazy2:AgentCrazy2
:iconagentcrazy2:AgentCrazy2 0 0
Mature content
If Jasper and Undyne fought :iconagentcrazy2:AgentCrazy2 0 1
Literature
Lapis and Peridot at the f***ing barn
mmmmrrrgg...
"HEY LAPIS YOU SHOULD WAKE UP!"
"Peridot what the fuck!"
"IT'S ALMOST SIX A.M. SO GE-"
"Please stop screaming Peridot..."
"Ok, sure! I just wanted to wake you up for the sunrise!"
"Ok, I'll be right there..."
"Great! I can already see a little light, so hurry it up!"
"Ok, ok, I'm coming!"
Lapis flies over to the tractor, where Peridot is.
"Peridot, the sun isn't rising yet.."
"I guess it'll take some time... But that means that we can hang out a little bit!"
"That's cool..!"
"Well of course it is! It's only 40° right now!"
"*laughs* That's not what I meant Peridot!"
"Well, if you say so!"
...........
"You can see Homeworld's galaxy from here..."
"Yes, Garnet informed me."
"Oh."
.......................
"Do you..... miss Homeworld at all?"
"*Sigh* Yes, but I also love it here. I don't agree with Homeworld's stance, but........ it's hard not to have feelings for your old home..."
"Yeah....."
.........
"Look Lapis! The sun is rising!"
"Oh.! Yeah, it is!"
"Isn't it awesome
:iconAgentCrazy2:AgentCrazy2
:iconagentcrazy2:AgentCrazy2 1 0

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Round and round
My ex got fucking AIDS
She made me hate the ocean
And wanna set the world ablaze
Got trapped in a mirror for
thousands o days
And being held in prison really
Doesn't pay
But earth's not bad
once you get to know it
I got new friends
And a brand new girlfriend
Loving every minute of this earth barn livin cause it's livid and I'm loving every minute
Lapis rap
From Mama Bares' LA
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Lapis Lazuli was sleeping in her hammok when there was a knock at the barn soor. The knock turned out to be Optimus Prime who proceeded to ask if there was any energon nearby, and Lapis said no, but that's when Megatron burst through the wall and tried to murder Optimus Prime. So Lapis f***ed Peridot and they merged into Turquoise to kill Megatron but then Ben 10 turned ito Cannon Bolt and bolted Magetron in the face then Undyne came in and showed a billion spears down his throat which killed him and everyone lived hapile aver atfre. Good dee.
This is why I have no friends
Jabba profited from the Iraq War
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Hello! I am Pearl, and today I will be explaining how to be thirsty! First, you consume large amounts of salt. Make sure not to consume to much, because you might damage yourself in the process!...... What?... Shut up Amythest!


Anyway, the process should be quick that way, but if you don't feel comfortable consuming raw salt, you could just eat salty foods! Then you would be as thirsty as you would by the raw salt!..... What did you say about me and Rose?.... What?! I'm not... GET BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT-
Pearl explains how to be thirsty
Pearl explains how to be thirsty! Jesus christ people do you read the titles or not
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or, enter your birth date.*


Month

Day

Year*
Please enter a valid date format (mm-dd-yyyy)
Please confirm you have reviewed DeviantArt's Terms of Service below.
* We do not retain your date-of-birth information.
'Who are you..!'
"What are you?! WHO are you?!"
'I'm the perfect soldier!'
"No you aren't! I'm the perfect soldier!"
'You're joking, right!'
"FUCK YOU!"
'FUCK YOU!'
"I COULD BEAT THE HELL OUTA YOU!"
'HA! You wish!'
"FIGHT ME BITCH!"
'You're asking to LOSE!'
"IDGAF!"
Undyne summons her spear and swings at Jasper's forehead, but Jasper summons her helmet before contact.
"WHAT?!?! THAT'S BULLSHIT!"
Jasper then spindashes into Undyne, but she puts her spear in front of her.
Jasper then stops, jumps, and slams her helmet into Undyne's head.
"AAGHH!"
Undyne then stabs Jasper straight through the arm, and cuts it off.
'AAAGGHHH!!!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!'
Then Jasper takes Undyne's spear, and stabs her in the leg, then throws her across the ground.
"YOU'RE A BITCH, BUT FINE. YOU'RE A BETTER FIGHTER THAN ME. IS YOUR EGO SATED YET?"
Undyne is now bleeding.
'I would have destroyed you, but you're a good fighter. Just not as good as ME! HAHAHAHAHAHA"
That's when Sans decided to throw Jasper into Hotland.

THE END
If Jasper and Undyne fought
This is not an opinion matter, this is just who would win. Also, Jasper's dialogue will have single quotations so you can tell the difference.
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mmmmrrrgg...

"HEY LAPIS YOU SHOULD WAKE UP!"

"Peridot what the fuck!"

"IT'S ALMOST SIX A.M. SO GE-"

"Please stop screaming Peridot..."

"Ok, sure! I just wanted to wake you up for the sunrise!"

"Ok, I'll be right there..."

"Great! I can already see a little light, so hurry it up!"

"Ok, ok, I'm coming!"

Lapis flies over to the tractor, where Peridot is.

"Peridot, the sun isn't rising yet.."

"I guess it'll take some time... But that means that we can hang out a little bit!"

"That's cool..!"

"Well of course it is! It's only 40° right now!"

"*laughs* That's not what I meant Peridot!"

"Well, if you say so!"

...........

"You can see Homeworld's galaxy from here..."

"Yes, Garnet informed me."

"Oh."

.......................

"Do you..... miss Homeworld at all?"

"*Sigh* Yes, but I also love it here. I don't agree with Homeworld's stance, but........ it's hard not to have feelings for your old home..."

"Yeah....."

.........

"Look Lapis! The sun is rising!"

"Oh.! Yeah, it is!"

"Isn't it awesome?!"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool!"

"LAPIS EARTH'S SUN IS MADE UP OF HOT PLASMA!!! HOW IS IT COLD?"

"Peridot! That's not what I meant!"

"Well, what did you mean?"

"I meant that it looked........ amazing."
Lapis and Peridot at the f***ing barn
A day in the life of Lapis and Peridot
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AgentCrazy2's Profile Picture
AgentCrazy2
Irespect Myprivacy
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I am a carbon based life form that likes Steven Universe and is not a feminist. I also like Ben 10 (old one), Transformers (I don't care what anyone says, TF is not just for 5 year olds), and art. And funny jokes.

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:iconslootyslots:
SlootySlots Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oh hai CuteHearts2 
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